Christopher Michael, gay, gay poetry

Repeating…

quiet
morning
alone with coffee and my thoughts
a long night of self-delusion
bringing a cool, pre summer morning
reflections and disambiguation
regret and regurgitation
longing for solution
respite, repentance
so many years of being this wanton
fag has left a vulnerable spot where
morning, bird sounds sirens in the background
wailing, reminding me of times being the passenger
the fear the pain the fear the pain.
it is cool, slightly gray
unusual for a land of sunshine and
promise
alone, but not lonely
thinking
being, too much, and thinking
thinking far too much, and wanting
wanting far too much, and needing
needing far too much, and yearning
yearning far too much, and crying
crying far too often, and caring
caring far too much, and regretting
regretting far too often, and loving
loving far too poorly, and giving
giving far too foolishly, repeating
repeating too often, and now
empty, repeat cycle
quiet
morning meditation
the sounds of a day unfolding
7:05 am morning unfolding
light, coffee, me
 

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One thought on “Repeating…

  1. Gray mornings are best for self-reflection. The cool morning breeze will coax any and all thoughts with ease. Only the man who is able to recognize and own his former regrets can break the pattern. Pride is not issue and should not be an obsticle in taking the first step towards change.

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