Christopher Michael, gay

Mother’s Day 2015

missing her today, she would have been 91
she’da had her hair done and been at her best
in her pants and blouse, she liked to look nice
earrings and her damned purse crammed
with I don’t know what
it would have been slow with the walker
slow because she’d say her minds not so good
slow because she’d falter and forget as
we’d make it down those long infernal hallways
out to my car
where we would go today
down memory lane?
I should put flowers at the crypt
remember who she was and is
not the rotting corpse inside that wooden box

how do you begin to memorialize moms
she was pretty accepting of me
it wasn’t always easy
she didn’t talk too much about the gay thing
she’d always ask if I had someone, most important
to her was that I not be alone, as she was alone
those last 10 years missing him every night
I wondered how does the brave heart wake
each morning alone
drift to sleep each night alone, knowing that
will repeat with the rise of the sun
and the rising moon

I think she knew some of the shit I pulled
even then, at the end, but I think she let it go
knowing that’s how it had to be
that a few dollars didn’t come between us, the
son who loved her,
would do anything to be there
a son who, this Mother’s Day, needs to
remember only the good and stop beating himself
up because he didn’t couldn’t have done better
she loved me until the end, our last conversation
as I said goodbye
I never knew how much pain a day could bring
until May 10 2015 Mother’s Day



2 thoughts on “Mother’s Day 2015

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