Christopher Michael, gay, gay poetry

Reflections

quiet
morning
alone with coffee and thoughts
long night of self-delusion
brings cool, pre-summer dawn
reflections, disambiguation
regret, regurgitation
longing for solution
respite, repentance
years of a wanton carousing
leave a vulnerable spot, where
morning, bird sounds, sirens wailing
remind me of being the passenger
the fear, the pain, the far, the pain
daybreak cool, slightly gray
unusual for a land of sunshine
promises
alone, not lonely, being
being too harsh, thinking
thinking far too much, wanting
wanting far too much, needing
needing far too much, yearning
yearning far too much, crying
crying far too often, caring
caring far too much, regretting
regretting far too often, loving
loving far too poorly, giving
giving far too foolishly, repeating
repeating far too often, now
empty, repeating the cycle
quiet, morning meditation
sounds of the day unfold
7:05am, morning light
coffee, me
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3 thoughts on “Reflections

  1. I agree with loving too poorly that’s what I’m working with right now….facing life’s trauma’s makes me fear love and I have to re asess my behavior with what’s wrong with me? If I know and study myself closely then I’ll find a way to heal and mend maybe, afterwards I learn how to love deeply. Thank you for your wonderful post. It helps me see who I am.

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      • yes…..thank you, that’s very true love is very painful I’ve been there too. The trouble with loving is when you say it with only words and without action it only confuse the mind. Slowly, I turned mentally ill and now I want to study my behaviour if I was turning mentally insane. I loved him before more than he ever know but situations prohibits action he has someone right now so, it’s more confusing you know? I don’t know what to do hope you can guide me and help me what to do. I don’t want to be that bad.

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