Christopher Michael, gay, gay poetry

from sorrow to serenity


fegelah—Yiddish from little bird. Yiddish for little fag.

pansy fruitcake queer homo fag faggot
cocksucker fudgepacker queen sissy
fairy douche pussy deviant
I’ve been called worse!
a queenie fag before it was
explained that boys don’t do that!
that high school sting
if you wore green on Thursdays: you’re a fag
high school locker room taunting
one jock asked: have you sucked a better cock than mine?
I wish I could have answered
I hadn’t sucked his cock–yet

no parental intervention
they hoped it was a phase
their son’s effeminate behavior
parents read my 16-year-old’s diary
declaring my yearning for Lamont King
was sent to a therapist
cure me of my queerness

Stonewall liberated me!
part of in the 70’s revolution
gays poured out of closets into the streets
we thought it was safer to dress gay, act gay
pick up men out in the open
along with continued police harassment
social oppression
constant threats of muggings and beatings

I am blossoming into an aging, dignified queen
expressing my womanly-maleness
in all its flamboyance
there is still a price to pay
a certain social ostracism
even within the gay community


One thought on “from sorrow to serenity

  1. Words employed to degrade fail in their task when we embrace their true definition, promoting them to adjectives of pride. Parental fear of the unknown will always result in extreme reactions. Much like the reactions of a society towards a minority. It’s up to us, alone to define ourselves and share our existence with our loved ones and society at large. Only then will we abolish the fears that spawn hatred.


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