Christopher Michael, gay, gay poetry

Who Shall I Be?

To Eleos

in deep self-pity

surrounded by words, inexplicable gasping sounds
sputtering noise: why didn’t I think of that first?
hard-pressed to acknowledge the simple truth
words bind like the wrapped feet of Chinese women
bound up, gagged for lack of thought
wrapped up in black Arial on white paper
unbind dude, unwind the wrappings
give that mess a rest
trapped in word games, a stagnant gasp of air
between this space and another

I won’t say the love word any more
domain of pathetique, the goddess Eleos
poor depressed bitch wearing sadness
and vulnerability under a blue veil of moribund intrigue
no one loves self-pity more than a recovering addict
drop the veil queen, no more hiding
just another boo-hoo-hoo gay story gone south
enough of that’s how it is queen
you know what Zsa Zsa said I hate that evil queen!

words highlight my existence, binding like
well wrapped china in a moving van box
words confuse the issue
consider, I say to self, consider this…
what if it’s not always you
what if you don’t get to be victim
what if you’re just a cool old dude running
around giving pleasure to your life
being kind to someone
would that be so bad?

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