On a Party
On a party with words, old slang man, like on a tear,
On the run, down with it, on a party with no drugs,
Just flying high, getting’ from here to next without
No harm, without death, without blackness,
Just wantin’ to run free, say it all, all of it–
Say what gotta be said, my words speak loud!
I’d dance nekkid in the park showin’ off my fine ass,
I’d do that if it was my art, but it ain’t, so I’d run free
And wild, dress up like the woman I’m meant to be,
Sing, dance, strip off my gowns–you laugh?
I think, it all come out crazy, like crazy in my head when
It’s all sixes and sevens.
I’m done, breathe, pray with me it ain’t wasted energy.
I’ve be that clown, begged love on street corners, in
Dark barroom back rooms, drinkin’ cold beer out of bottles
Pretend I be some rugged he-man, I’d have come fuck
Me eyes all stare just for you to come, come fuck away
With me someplace enchanted, even for an hour,
But that’s not where this train is headed, oh hell no,
It ain’t going there no more!
I’ve been around the bars, parks crusin’ to save my
Life and feed my addiction. Man, do I know what that like!
Been there once too often, arrested cuz that insanity,
That need that ain’t never filled has no brain, it don’t think,
It just do, and it does–life gets filled with consequences,
Consequences ruin lives, so this queen don’t do that
No more, either.
Been around all the things gay men do, maybe
Shouldn’t a done, who is to judge? Me.
We be different, see, not made to be no dads,
Wrestle little boys on our knees, cept the ones
Old enough to play games with us, that’s not
This party, not be a mommy, carry these disturbed
Genes, not what this fag supposed to be.
I done it all, without shame lookin’ backwards, all’s I
See is regret. Sing it Edith, no, no regrets, non, rien de rien.
Non, je ne regrette rien.
I want to regret til the poison runs outta my mouth,
Drips outta my ass, going backwards, I’m runnin’ to
The light, or death, done my regret, said sorry,
That didn’t work, said nothin’ at all, no more, done,
Done with that, movin’ on this party til I wrecks
The hours and this dance be done.