Christopher Michael, gay, gay poetry, homosexual, lgbt, queer

This Is Where I Go

This Is Where I Go

Angry, mad as screaming banshees in the
D-rated scare flicks, yelling with dull tribal brutality,
pissed, rankled, shouting unspoken love sonnets
on the boulevard, 10 cents a dance, honey,
all night for a $20.
I can make you happy in boxcars speeding across
America looking for Whitman’s manly love;
Can make you happy as Harriet when Ozzie’s
brings home the bacon;
Can make you thrill or dance to any tune you got
in your head;
Can rev you up or bring you down way low,
way too low next door to death’s last breath;
Can get you high, higher than birdsongs,
higher than planes can fly;
Can get you up, off or down, whichever way
you want to go;
Can get you off, can get you on, on to Needle
Park, rats in alleys behind the bar closing at
4am, where dancing males sluggishly drone
to keep methed out dreams alive;
Can get you to places where nice boys don’t
know, don’t go;
Can get you down dark alleys where streetlights
cast no glare, sex behind dumpsters, a fix
for tricks and party boys, thugs selling crack
and H and their asses, anything goes if you’ve
got the scratch;
Can get you up to the penthouse heights singing
party boys with champagne fountains, it’s all for hire,
all for show, all yours if you wanna blow,
blow it all away.

This is where I go: booths and stalls where
hard cocks wait for lips to suck them dry,
leave with no names, nothing exchanged but a
mouthful of gizz, asses are bared for anyone to
fill that hole, that hole, that unfillable assful;
This is where I go, no more than anything holy,
no more than sad, no more than high, no more
than down and out;
This is where I go: wandering aimless through
parks, paths leading to secret spots, everyone
knows, lead to moments of glory, hallelujah,
snort and sniff some high, shoot it big wide and go,
leave behind the sad creatures finding love in
the wrong joints;
This where I go: beer halls, cheap bars with
tired-assed dancer boys shaking their nothing for
dollars, sad-eyed bartenders saying what you have,
working for tips, take home booty at last call;
This is where I go: speeded up, cranked too high,
brought down way low, looking for what I can’t
find, don’t want, desperately need, searching
coming home, drying out, begin again in an instant
for that high, so high God gotta reach down to
get me, so low, so very very low, the earth swallowed
me up, spit me out low down, hating me, hating
the way it got to be, hating it all, up again on the
prowl, moving, hunting til game’s end, psychotic circles,
empty brain, sad little boy cries, in the end,
sad little boy cries.

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10 thoughts on “This Is Where I Go

      • I write M/M Romance; romance stories centered around two men. I am nowhere near as professional as that sounds. I self-published one book almost a year ago. I’m now working on my second, but I’m a amateur, learning as I go. M/M Romance is a growing genre and a lot of authors have pen names. It’s kind of an underground thing, I guess, almost entirely digital books, no paperbacks in your local bookstore, not the kind of thing that would have made Oprah’s book list. The company I self-published with suggested I get onto social media, so, voila; Aimer Boyz. On WordPress, I blog about writing in general and I sometimes add the gay romance tag in case anyone is interested in the kind of stuff I write. I think I’ll reconsider that and just add a link to my Amazon page instead, less confusing 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, it is considering the conversations we’ve had. I didn’t know about M/M digital press. I’ve stopped reading prose, in general, unless its classic. You’ve ascertained by my writing romance is not a hot topic.

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    • The poem? I wrote a piece called I Make Sad Beautiful, thanks for that idea. Will post tomorrow. My style keeps changing as I keep trying out different forms, rhythms, flows, I read a comment by Ferllinghetti to write in all manner of styles….

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      • I meant a modern romance with the regulation happy ending isn’t your style. I noticed that your use of language changes from poem to poem, I’m assuming that is part of your experimenting with form and flow. Looking forward to tomorrow’s post 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • yes. For a while I did a lot more research, I’m not as smart as Google allows me to be. Sometimes I’m very “intellectual,” and that’s research, especially if I dip into Greek mythology. I have a large vocabulary, but I started writing the other day in street language, but changed it. I am not sure if I will ever settle on a “voice.” My art hasn’t, but it has been 40 years in the making! Yes, tomorrow. I want to sleep on it before I upload.

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      • Google is a miracle. I couldn’t write without it. I don’t know street language and that limits the kind of characters I can write.
        Maybe you don’t have to settle on just one “voice”. You can choose the one that conveys your concept the best. Why lock yourself into a box?

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